Blog Assignment #4 – Writing on a Photo

I am looking at a photo from the 1940's of a family by the water near Astoria Park. They are sitting on the rocks and playing in the water right under the bridge. The sun shining, a father with his four sons. The mother of the boys is probably the photographer. Two of the young boys seem to be between the ages of 7 to 10. They have white shirts on with three buttons comming down from the collar. Their pants are rolled up and they're in the water knee deep. They have a sort of melancoly look on their face, just standing staring at the camera like a sort of zombie. At a time where you would expect children to be happy, a day by the water with their family, they don't seem to be. One of the other boys, which seems to be the youngest, is standing on a rock with a long stick in his hands. He is pointing at something in the water and isn't looking at the camera. He looks very happy like he doesn't have a care in the world, like we all felt when we were his age. Closest to the camera is the oldest of the boys. He looks like he might not want to be there, that this day was mostly for his younger brothers. He's sitting off to the side on a rock. His father a few rocks away smiling, a forced smile, looking at the camera but watching over his sons. Back in the 1940's there wasn't much to entertain a family so most of peoples time were spent outdoors. They don't seem genuinely happy, only the littlest boy. By the shoes they're wearing you would guess that they don't come from money. It is probably a weekend outing with the whole family.

Blog Assignment #3 - "Authors Note"

As soon as we looked to our right there it was in plain sight, a guy about 25 feet away with a gun pointed at us. We just froze for a moment. I screamed, “Oh my god!” and we both quickly turned around and ran right back into the door that we had just exited out of. It was dark out so I couldn’t make out who the gun man was. I have heard too many horror stories of innocent people being caught in the crossfire of a gun and I didn’t want to be the next victim. After that I don’t remember anybody or anything around me, all I know is that I ran as fast as I could to the bar and I hid behind it. I heard a commotion come through the door, but all I could think is where’s Nicole? I waited about a minute then I popped my head out the top of the bar and looked around. I saw Nicole. I ran out and said what happened? Where did he go? She said,” I don’t know but I think he’s gone”.


I chose to write about this "real event" in my life, because of the suspense and dramatization. It is something that I know a reader would be interested in. They would want to keep reading to see how the story plays out and what happens in the end. Basically, to understand the peice you must know that a gun was pulled out on my friend and I at a pool hall, but no one was injured. Now that I will be able to revise this piece I want to add more description into what I saw that night. For instance, to create the setting before I say what happens next. I have not written a short story like this before, and I think as I continue to write i will get better and better at it. For right now I know what some of my mistakes were. Usually I would be writing academic essays so there is a big difference between these two writings. I think I could have gotten more in depth about my feelings (scared, nervous), described what I saw a little bit more, but since I am not used to it, it was harder for me. I wrote my peice on word processor. 

Assignment #2: Reading Annie Dillard, "Total Eclipse"

"The hotel lobby was a dark, derilict room, narrow as a corridor, and seemingly without air."

This phrase stopped me in my tracks because in one sentence she paints the grim picture of the hotel lobby. This effectively gives the reader a sense of a cheap hotel that one would not normally want to stay in. She uses in depth description to make the reader feel like they could actually be sitting there. She uses the simile narrow as a corridor.


"The hill was five hundred feet high. Long winter-killed grass covering it, as high as your knees. We climbed and rested sweating and cold."

Here she describes an extremely high hill that they must climb, snow up to their knees as they sweated but were cold at the same time. In the first sentence you could just imagine standing at the bottom of a hill looking up 500 feet knowing that your have to climb in the freezing cold. She is mostly descriptive here there are no metaphors or similes.


"The skin on his face moved like thin bronze plating that would peel."

Here she makes a comparison of the skin on his face and peeling bronze plating. This is a simile. She describes the wind hitting his face and making his skin sort of peel back. This means that the wind must have been blowing very hard.


Annie Dillard uses an eloborate style because of her in depth description. She uses alot of similes in describing the moment or character. I believe her writing is very effective because she brought me in to exactly how she was feeling and what was going on around her.